I sold Robin’s Angel of Dream body and bought her a Volks Pureskin sd10 body. Though you can see the seam lines and whatnot, and it’s kind of older so there are some marks here and there, overall I am happy because it was the ideal body style for her! I love the petiteness of the body. Definitely looks better in lolita clothing XD Since her legs aren’t 8-feet-tall-model-length anymore. I like her thicker, shorter legs lol. The only thing I don’t like are her hands. They are a bit chubby and childlike. So I will eventually buy her a pair of H-02 hands to bring out the more adult side in her (I know, cliché, since the SD10 body is meant to be childlike. But it was my ideal body for a petite adult girl XD)

The resin match is a lot better than the NS-Y AOD Body I had previously. I think the Volks body is slightly darker with a more white tone, while the Elfdoll is a bit lighter with a more peachy tone. After InnoSera I will probably buy some tools (if I have any money left over lol), mainly sandpaper, to get rid of those seamlines. I might give her a nice rubbing alchohol + melanine sponge bath, as I’ve heard this can lighten the resin. I’ve gotta buy some MSC and chalk pastels though, so I can give Robin’s reminesce head a faceup and her body a good blushing.

I can’t wait till InnoSera!!! 3 more days until a weekend filled with lolita fashion and ball-jointed dolls XD My wallet is so dead lol. I hope I have any money left to spend between Dollheart and Baby the Stars Shine Bright!!! XD I REALLY want to buy an Elfdoll tiny too…

I can think of so many negative things I want to say and complain about it, but nobody cares to hear about that sort of thing. I can’t help but feel like I have nobody to confide in anymore. Or rather, even if I do, I get shot down anyway. Maybe the saying is true, that you can only rely on yourself.

I’ve been considering every now and then if I should get out of lolita fashion… the major thing is I just don’t look as good in it like the models do, or even girls who are 5′4” and have long shapely legs. It’s not that I don’t have confidence in myself… it’s just life. It’s expensive, most of the everything is too big/long for me anyway, and I’ve been developing new hobbies and interests that also require a lot of money.

I’ve been wondering if I should give up on the large ball-jointed dolls too. I haven’t really bonded with my girl very much, but it’s also because I haven’t really bought anything for her. I should have listened to the advice of doll enthusiasts who told me to start out with a small doll first. I really like Elfdoll Sylf and have already found a ton of slightly more affordable wigs and clothes that I’d like to buy. Well, the clothes I can make myself, since they are so small. My Robin is another story. I don’t have patience to make clothes for myself (I’ve only successfully made ONE lolita blouse and skirt, and ONE successfully completed cosplay), and even though Robin is considerably smaller I still have no patience to sew for her size either. It may be because of being burnt out on my full time job… on my days off I don’t feel like doing very much (save for reading manga or playing video games. Speaking of which I read all of Card Captor Sakura!!! It was so sweet XD now I remember how much I loved CLAMP’s stuff).

Speaking of which I am re-reading Alice 19 from the beginning, though I’ve read it halfway through before. Just in case I missed something. I get my 7 minutes of joy when One Piece and Naruto are released every week too… they need to make those issues longer!!! And Berserk just doesn’t come out fast enough… is Miura-san done with Idol Master yet??? Or is he doing the teaching thing? I’d love to learn art from him XD

I feel kind of down. I’m easily discouraged. That and I’m just confused and don’t know where to start. I want to work creatively… I hate working in a bank. I hate people in general, especially crabby rich folk who think the whole world has to cater to them. Well, some of the poor folk are pretty awful too. But let’s not get into that anymore.

I sent my demo to Fluxus so here’s to hoping I make it… I sang “Blue923″ by Loveholic. And “Lonely in Gorgeous” by Tommyfebruary6 (they specified a ballad and a dance song, and since I’m not very pop/dance friendly it was the one song my sister mentioned that i liked XD) I think I will start working on another demo to send to Sony Japan too. Maybe sans lolita, since they already have Nana Kitade and Kanon Wakeshima under their label…

I wish I could magically find bandmates. You know most people want to be like Nana.. she’s sexy and cool and just totally awesome… but when I think of myself I think as a vocalist I’m more the Reira type (and personality-wise I’m a mixture of Komatsu Nana and Misato the lolita/Vivienne Westwood fangril lol). I wish I had a Naoki, Ren, and Takumi to lean on though… I guess I need to socialize more… try to find bandmates. Inspiring people who can write music together with me… perform with me… even that seems like a dream. But everytime I think of bandmates, I think of an all female band, or a band with me being the only girl. Not an even mix O.o I wonder why that is? Too much Nana I guess.

InnoSera is this weekend! I’m excited and somehow a little down. Well one thing I have no money to spend (T.T) and I know I’m going to be making grabby hands at all the Baby the Stars Shine Bright, Elfdoll, and Dollheart stuff. I’m going to be jealous of how pretty the models will be at the BTSSB fashion show… they are bringing their own hair and makeup artists, so undoubtedly all the girls will look beautiful… *sigh* I wish I could feel the power of Japanese makeup artists XD

I have my outfits picked out though! I just hope my blouse comes in time… and I hope my girl’s new body gets here in time so I can take her too!!! I’m worried about picking up my registration on Friday, since they stop at 6:00PM and I get off of work at 5:30-ish… and they are in Bellevue and work is in Seattle… *sigh* I wonder if I should change clothes for registration day? I’d feel like crap if people are already dressed in their cutest lolita and aristocrat while I’m stuck in granny bank clothes. Maybe I’ll change in the car….

I have a to do list to accomplish by the end of the month… one of the things on my list is to get my passport! My first passport. Wow. I’ve gotta take some good photos at home since I usually like my own photo taking more than others taking pics of me. I know which angles I like more XD Hopefully I will have some money to do it ^^;; I think it costs like $100 for a first time passport… did you know in Korea they are allowed to photoshop your passport photo to make it all pretty? I’m a bit peeved because in the U.S. you are not by any means allowed to photoshop and enhance your face in any way >.<

*sigh* and I still have my Oklahoma license… it expires next year so I figured I would procrastinate. I don’t drive anymore so I don’t need to worry about being pulled over and having the wrong address on file. Brent has his new spiffy WA license. He doesn’t like his photo XD But they had to retake it like 4 times because he kept smiling goofily.

I have to try and stay positive, but I’m just not a positive person lol. When I go to work and they spout all this “Let’s go team!” bullcrap I really get sick to my stomach. I’m serious, my stomach literally does flips. Then again I was the student in highschool who skipped pep rallies and crap and go hide out in the art room and borrow all their art supplies lol. Man I miss those days.

My art needs more love. I will probably post my paper doll entry for InnoSera on deviantART (and I didn’t win, by the way XD it’s expected though, everyone favors clean vector drawings over hand done stuff… I’m a little old and outdated I suppose. But I’m curious to see who won, I bet it’s really cute).

I should probably sleep. Hell awaits me in the morning (work).

I can’t wait till InnoSera… hopefully I will get a lot of good shots!

I just read on the Innocente Seraphim website that Ms. Cholong of Elfdoll and PasuLau of Doll Heart will be attending!! I’m so excited XD Now I just have to pre-register…

It’s bad for my wallet because I love Elfdoll (that’s why my first doll choice was Soah!) AND Dollheart has some of the most amazing clothes for dollies!!! I probably won’t be able to buy anything (I don’t even have room on my puny little credit card, huhuhu T.T) but at least I have a nice enough camera to take some awesome shots XD Now I need to make my purses into a DSLR camera suitable carrying case! Now how can I go about doing that with Josephine… (that’s the name of my bunny bear bag, ahahaha)

Isn’t she gorgeous? I don’t know if her name will be permanent (I rather like her creator’s name for her, SOAH). If you are interested, I have pictures of when I first got her on Den of Angels.

I need to give more love to my doll XD I’m already making grabby hands at other dolls! When I first got into this hobby I thought I only wanted two at most. Now I’m thinking about at least 5 different dolls!!! Sheesh… Everything I like happens to be expensive O.o Lolita fashion, ball-jointed dolls…

Let’s see.. on my current wishlist I want a D.O.D. Dream of Idol Kalix, Luke (version 1), Elfdoll Twiggy Yumi (she’s so cute!!! XD), Elfdoll Sylf, D.O.T. Delphine, etc. etc…

Must keep reminding myself to give Robin more love. And clothes. Too bad work cut hours and I’m stuck paying apt rent and have no money left over at the end of the month. Aw crud.

Oh, if you haven’t noticed, I get to keep Kiwidoll open!!! Yay!!! Though no one comes to read. Well that will all be changed soon enough!!! Mwahahahahhaa XD

Before I ever thought about getting my Elfdoll Soah (Robin), I had thought about starting with a tiny doll first… well since they are less expensive and cute and all. Not to mention my obsession with Rement:

http://www.re-mentusa.com/

Since Rement are more suited for the tiny doll sizes, and Robin can’t play with them, I had always wanted the Elfdoll tinies Sylf or Adel. I’m kind of regretting getting Robin first, mainly because everything for the larger dolls is so much more expensive… and so much harder to make clothing and accessories for. I feel sad that Robin just sits on my shelves all day (well, the most movement is from shelf to shelf so she doesn’t collect any dust >.< )

A few weeks ago I saw on Den of Angels that Elfdoll is releasing special "elf" versions of their tinies again!

Now the main reason why I like the Elfdoll tinies, and not other companie’s tinies is because of their body style. Other tinies are very… well childlike, and Sylf, Adel, and Lyn have more mature style bodies, or in other words, not meant to be children. I just… don’t really like the childlike dolls for some reason. And now that the new tinies have elf ears, I can really have my very own faerie!!! X3

Of course not yet… and if they stay in stock… I share everyone’s woes right now, no money T.T hopefully they will still be around within the next 6 months or so!!!

This is my first bjd <3

She is an Elfdoll Soah special edition head on a Dream of Angel ver. 2 body.

Her name is Robin (로빈) like Nico Robin from One Piece. She doesn’t look like Robin or anything, I just like the name (and the character too XD)

I was tempted to get a boy doll around the same time, but after much contemplating I decided to wait a few more years before getting one. I still haven’t found the perfect looking boy doll… most are too girly looking or too butch. That, or I just don’t know how to get creative with faceups yet.

I bought her outfit about a year before I got her. It is the Volks Baby the Stars Shine Bright Collaboration Momoko from Kamikaze Girls Hawase Doll one piece dress. Wow that was a mouthful. Someday I want to collect every single outfit from their collaborations (I think there is about 9 total??? 8 of them being sweet lolita and 1 being from their Alice and the Pirates line). But the outfits cost MORE than a human’s dress from Baby the Stars Shine Bright! (well, about the same really, but these little outfits are more rare and sought after so their value has skyrocketed).

If I could have any life I wanted, I would just take photos of my doll (and future dolls) and post sweets recipes on the internet. (<– this is why I keep buying the lotto, but not winning anything still). Perhaps when I am an old lady I will get to retire this way XD A girl can dream anyway.